Tips on Building a House

Are your attempts at building a house going all wrong? Is your insistence on not using tools getting in the way? Well don’t worry because I’m here to help. You could probably get your house done before you’ve even finished reading the post. It’s that good.


The first step is finding your plot.

pile of dirt

Now you’ve found your plot you need to get planks of wood, rulers, a ground plan and some tools. (You may have an insistence on not using tools. You need tools. I’m glad I helped). Measure everything. 1cm, 2cm, 3cm 4. Make sure the ceiling is taller than your head. Saw the wood with a saw. and bash some nails into it. It doesn’t matter where.

Before you construct your house you need to put up a sign discouraging the public from entering the construction zone. A sign like this…

please do not raid my fridge

How are people ever going to go into your working area if they know they can’t raid your fridge? It’s perfect! If you have some blue prints, then that’s a bad thing because you haven’t started painting yet. I suggest you should call a doctor.

When you are doing the building bit of building the building, you need to make sure the pieces of wood don’t fall over. The best way of making sure this doesn’t happen is to use lots of duct tape. Then you are allowed to paint it.

Building the ceiling is a lot like building the walls, except sideways.

The point of tiling the walls is to make sure water doesn’t get in. Using a sign would not work here because waters don’t like fridges. When you are finished tiling the roof, don’t use the ladder to climb down. It looks much cooler if you jump off.

Congratulations, you have just built a house. Now as long as you don’t mind people complaining that you didn’t get planning permission, you can live in there for as long as you want. I’d buy a cushion for comfort.

rich house

Your house


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