Category: Silliness

Which Characters Can You Trust With The One Ring?

The One Ring.gif

This ain’t no babysitting service you’ve got here

The ring was an item in Lord of the Rings that turned you invisible. It also made wraiths want to eat you, and kinda turned characters into jerks. So in the Lord of the Rings they needed Frodo, a hobbit who could be trusted with chucking the ring into Mount Doom without going corrupt.

But which other fictional characters could be trusted with the ring?

Lets find out…

Sherlock Holmes


Sherlock is known for being 100% correct about anything and everything. That said, he does have a knack for experimentation, and this may cause him to become overly curious. That being said he probably already knows how the ring works anyway.

Score: 6

Doctor Who

Doctor Clara hug.gif

Doctor Who loves being curious, but he wouldn’t put on the ring if he knew it would make him corrupt. However he often finds him surrounded by Daleks or other monsters, so becoming invisible may turn out to be a plus. He could potentially just take a Tardis to mount doom, provided he doesn’t get separated from it for plot convoluted reasons which, lets face it, will happen.

Score: 8

The Terminator


The Terminator is a robot who doesn’t give a damn about the ring’s invisibility-ness. All he knows is that if he shouldn’t put on the ring, he shouldn’t put on the ring. Even if he did, you know he won’t go all insane. Unless the wraiths start screwing with his programming. Also he could pass through a legion of orcs by walking with his hand in a fist and his arm stretched out..

Score: 10

Super Mario

New Super Mario Bros 2.gif

Mario is a plumber who hasn’t done any plumbing for 30 years. Instead he’s been saving the Mushroom Kingdom from Bowser. Maybe he can be trusted with the ring? Unfortunately his usefulness is only as good as the person controlling him, and players have the tendency to screw around. But he does have multiple lives, so perhaps he will make it provided the player ever finishes the game.

Score: 5

Tony Soprano

The Sopranos.gif

Lol no.

Score: -2

Beatrix (Kill Bill)

Kill Bill.gif

Warning: This article contains gore.

She will be able to slice Orcs like nobody’s business, and she has so much determination that she could probably reach Mount Doom even with the ring. That said, she kind of is already corrupt with power. Since Tarantino movies are out of order, she may be able to drop the ring into Mount Doom before the opening credits, and that would have saved us a lot of time.

Score: 5

Harry Potter

Harry Potter.gif

In the first year Harry was obsessed with the mirror that reflected whatever he wanted. But in the later years the mirror would have reflected a map to Mount Doom because you know he ain’t gonna get himself distracted. His spells would be able to get him past the orcs, and he did so much hiking in part 1 of the last film that the distance shouldn’t be a problem.

Score: 8

Hermione Granger

Hermionie Granger.gif

Like Harry Potter, but with better planning skills.

Score: 8.5

James Bond

James Bond.gif

This guy will try to suave his way to Mount Doom. But he won’t be able to drive because the terrain isn’t suitable. Unless of course his team happen to create a vehicle that can do that sort of thing. Otherwise he will have to pull a Legolas and shoot his way through things.

Score: 6

James May

Top Gear.gif

Gets lost.

Score: -5


It’s official! Sorry Frodo, but The Terminator is the best fictional character to carry the ring. Maybe you can make the sandwiches next time.

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Which Fast Food Is Most Aerodynamic

Hey, you know fast food? Isn’t it supposed to be like, fast? Well sure it comes out very quickly, but which one would you trust to run a marathon in the quickest time? It’s time to find out which fast food is the most aerodynamic!

First, the burger


Well this item is just wrong. It’s delicious, but why does it have the audacity to be so round? You could throw it at MPH and it would just plonk down at your feet. The only plus side is that it’s light, but so do all the other fast foods. This is just bad style. I’ll say no.

Score: 3

Next, the pizza.


I’ll go margherita to simplify things. Pizza is heavier than burger, so it might not fly as far. Plus it’s all floppy so it might do gymnastics in the air. I don’t trust this very much. However it will leave a trail of tomato so it would get lighter as it goes along.

Score: 2

Number 3, chips.


This picture looks upside down. I don’t know why.

Now remember, it’s chips and not a chip. Don’t think you can have just one and think you can get away with it. They travel in a pack. Unfortunately this means that they’ll have a tendency to scatter, although there may be just one that reaches the end, although I highly doubt it.

Score: 2



Ah yes, the chips’ cousin. In the ocean they’re all swimming along. Well fish can swim, but can they fly? Well it is a bit bulky so that’s going to be a problem, but a bigger problem is that fish can’t breathe above water, so it would probably die at the starting line.

Score: 3



Kebabs are long and pointy, with sections of food on them. This means that the wind and/or air can pass through it easily. You can even through it like a javelin if you are so inclined (I wasn’t). Good choice.

Score: 6

Hot Dog


This contains a sausage in bread, with a condiment such as ketchup, mustard or onions. If you try throwing one of these then the sausage has a habit of jumping out of the bread. If you can construct the sausage to jump forward then this might be a good help, otherwise it might fall in the grass. Where it might get eaten by a dog; WHO DOESN’T SEE THE RESEMBLANCE!

Score: 4

Ice Cream

Ice Cream

The traditional ice cream with a cone can’t even stand up straight. So how is it supposed to run a marathon. Also if I lived in the 80’s I’d might make a joke about adding a marathon bar to the ice cream but I’m not so lets don’t. Chucking these causes the ice cream to fall out, and the whole thing to tip out. Very disappointing.

Score: 0



This is one of those unfortunate unaerodynamic donuts.

Donuts have holes in them especially designed for the wind to go though it. Shame it’s so bulky and weighed down by that jam. You should have used low fat butter!

Score: 3



No! Not a fast food! Does not compute!

Score: -1

And finally, the milkshake


It’s round, bulky, and the lid can come off meaning the track will become all slippery. You can also attach a solar powered jet pack onto it.

Score: 10

Well there you have it. Milkshakes have the best aerodynamicness, and that’s a fact!

If you agree or disagree then leave a comment, and maybe click the like button if you want. Also you can share this on Facebook or Twitter. Send me messages @StewartAA2P.

Table Tennis Tips

Are you once of those people who keep losing at table tennis, even when you are actually playing squash?

Table Tennis

Actually if you steal your opponent’s bat then that might be a plus.

The rules of table tennis is that you have to hit the ball on your opponent’s side without them hitting it back. However if they hit the ball to you then you have to hit it back. This hypocrisy is never noted.

If you serve the ball and it bounces on your side and then on your opponents side twice, and the opponent doesn’t hit it back then you get a point. If you serve dinner and it bounces on your side and then on your opponent’s side twice and the opponent doesn’t hit it back, then you get an angry caterer.

Table Tennis is all about the existence of the table, the space between you and your opponent, and the paddling, which is why if you don’t like paddling, then this is not the game for you.

If your boat is too small, then the ping pong ball will fly into the ocean and it will become the Loch Ness Monster’s.

Everything in the ocean is the property of the Loch Ness Monster.

If you don’t have a proper table tennis table then you can use a normal table, provided you don’t mind that there is no net.

If you do have a proper table tennis table, then the net should not be used as a catapult for small laundry items, no matter how amusing it may seem.

If you are scared of drowning, don’t play this game.

It is recommended that you use a ping pong ball to play this game. You could use a cannonball, however the quality of the game play will decrease drastically.

Playing table tennis over a volcano is highly discouraged.

A common newbe mistake is to hurl a bucket of ping pong balls at your opponents side of the table to gain multiple points at a fast rate. However they probably won’t bounce enough times for it to count, and as a result you will probably lose there and then.

A good trick to hit the ball is by making the paddle have contact with the ball, and hitting it in a forward motion. Try not to throw the paddle. Or the table. Or your house.

And finally remember that it’s all about having fun, unless you lose in which case you must proceed to throw a huge tantrum. If you follow these tips then you will win every time. Just try not to be affected by the radiation.

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This Excellent Site Links Every Simpsons Quote To It’s Episode

The Simpsons is one of the most famous animated shows of all time, and there are so many episodes that it’s difficult to figure which episode you are looking for.

Simpsons Family

These are the Simpsons, in case you didn’t know. I did, but that’s because I’m special.

However with as long as you can remember a quote, it can tell you which episode you want. For example if you search “Three kids, but the dog doesn’t count” you get this…

(Season 3 Episode 10)

Boom! I win!

You can even have the quote on the image.

Text Example.jpg

Ok, that’s a bit wordy. But don’t worry, we can change the words with the text editor.

My chin has spikes on it

The Simpsons, improved!

Now this gave me an idea.

You see there exists a phrase that can make any ‘New Yorker’ cartoon funny, the New Yorker being a magazine that has a caption contest. It’s suspiring how often this phrase works, but it does. The caption I am talking about consists of the words…

“Hi, I’d like to add you to my professional network on linkedin”


I’m wondering if it can make any mildly amusing photo funny, so I tried it with images from the Simpsons. Enjoy.

Homer springs in head.jpg

Burns in bed

Bart Hoist

Electric Hammer.jpg

Homer is dressed as bigfoot

Giant Swinging Donut.jpg


Homer begging to Satan


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7 Ways Of Improving Winter

Winter is a time of year. Unfortunately it can be very miserable. Look at the sky, it is a bit dull. Here are some ways to improve your winter experience.

1. There’s no snow.

Snow House

This isn’t your house. It’s not mine either.

We always get promised snow on Christmas day. However it only comes here by around June. If you look at the science behind it, you can find out that the bit of the sky that dumps snow on the USA arrives in the UK a bit later. Now you could perhaps go on holiday to the USA at around Christmas time, but I’ve got a much better idea.

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You Must Floss Immediately: Star Signs (23.01.16)


Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

If you don’t stand up for other people, nobody will stand up for you. Take this advice forward.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

It’s ok if every day isn’t as good as the last, because good days will come back again.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Why not start flossing? I flossed for the very first time a couple of days ago, and it felt weird. But I liked it.

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A Representation Of The Most Popular Pokemon In The West And In Japan

I have done extensive research and if you asked me, this is my result of findings of what would happen if you put all of the pokemon that are popular in the west in one creature, and all of the pokemon that are popular in Japan in another creature. I hope you all agree.

Linemon Circlechu

Next Post: 7 Reasons Why You Aren’t As Cool As You Think You Are