Are you once of those people who keep losing at table tennis, even when you are actually playing squash?
The rules of table tennis is that you have to hit the ball on your opponent’s side without them hitting it back. However if they hit the ball to you then you have to hit it back. This hypocrisy is never noted.
If you serve the ball and it bounces on your side and then on your opponents side twice, and the opponent doesn’t hit it back then you get a point. If you serve dinner and it bounces on your side and then on your opponent’s side twice and the opponent doesn’t hit it back, then you get an angry caterer.
Table Tennis is all about the existence of the table, the space between you and your opponent, and the paddling, which is why if you don’t like paddling, then this is not the game for you.
If your boat is too small, then the ping pong ball will fly into the ocean and it will become the Loch Ness Monster’s.
Everything in the ocean is the property of the Loch Ness Monster.
If you don’t have a proper table tennis table then you can use a normal table, provided you don’t mind that there is no net.
If you do have a proper table tennis table, then the net should not be used as a catapult for small laundry items, no matter how amusing it may seem.
If you are scared of drowning, don’t play this game.
It is recommended that you use a ping pong ball to play this game. You could use a cannonball, however the quality of the game play will decrease drastically.
Playing table tennis over a volcano is highly discouraged.
A common newbe mistake is to hurl a bucket of ping pong balls at your opponents side of the table to gain multiple points at a fast rate. However they probably won’t bounce enough times for it to count, and as a result you will probably lose there and then.
A good trick to hit the ball is by making the paddle have contact with the ball, and hitting it in a forward motion. Try not to throw the paddle. Or the table. Or your house.
And finally remember that it’s all about having fun, unless you lose in which case you must proceed to throw a huge tantrum. If you follow these tips then you will win every time. Just try not to be affected by the radiation.
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Are you one of those people who keep accidentally knocking Jenga towers over, even when your not playing? Well why not follow some of these top Jenga tips? It will at least make people feel safer about having you near their houses.
Golf is a relaxing, yet highly competitive game. You must use strategy to help you hit your ball into the holes in as few swings as possible. However others may also be trying strategies, and it will help you to prepare for these types of scenarios by coming up with more strategies. Here are some strategies to help you with your strategies.
When you swing your club, not only must you use as much power as you can, but you must also use the pendulum effect. Bring a Grandfather’s Clock, hit it harder and further.
There are so many clubs that you can use, that they can be difficult to organise. There are Wood clubs; and Iron clubs; but the only one you really need is the Gold club. The others will be so distracted by it’s luxuriousness that they won’t notice you dropping the balls into the holes with your hands.
Bunkers or Sand Traps can be very difficult to get out of if you decide to land in these areas. However there is no time limit of course. Just wait until sand doesn’t exist anymore, then you’ll be the envy of all of your not as patient friends.
If you are the sneaky type, you can sneak inside the building the night before and take out the rule book. You must alter the wording and replace every instance of the word Golfer with ‘Gopher’. The next day grab your gopher and show the rule book to the others. Your opponents will be powerless to ignore the rules and they will all be disqualified instantly. (Just remember that there will be a slim chance of someone else bringing a gopher. At these point you will be stuck.)
Trees can be a nuisance because they can get in the way. Unless of course you grab your other more highly trained gopher to cut down all the trees while your opponents aren’t looking.
Remember that your score is counted by the amount of swings that you make. So just don’t swing! Just walk while the ball is in contact with the club and you’ll score a 0 every game.
If you follow all of these tips then you are sure to have a perfect game. If they don’t invite you back I can assure you that it’s because of jealousy and not because of anything that you’ve done.