Phantom Limb Syndrome

Ok so I know it’s possible to feel a limb even when it’s not there. It’s called Phantom Limb Syndrome. I was going to post a clip from QI explaining it but I couldn’t find it so I have to explain it myself.

If one of your clips have come of for any reason, well the grain can still think it’s there, and it can still feel pain. Or you may sometimes try to pick things up with your nonexistent hand. It’s possible to have this with organs as well.

Well I’ve just had a haircut, and it always feels weird once I’ve had a haircut. I’m wondering if I have phantom hair syndrome.

 

 

 
This post was rubbish wasn’t it. But it’s difficult to think of something else when you feel weird.

Big Brother’s Nikki Might Be Entering The Big Brother Canada House

Big Brother’s Nikki Graham is one of the four international housemates hoping to be voted into the Big Brother House. If she gets in, hilarity will ensue, but she won’t last long and here’s why.

Nikki spin.gif

Get your ear plugs ready!

For those unfamiliar with the Canadian or American versions Big Brother, they are so different from the UK that they may as well be considered different shows.

There is no public vote, instead the house guests choose who gets evicted, and talking about nominations takes up most of the show. Each week there will be a new Head of Household (HOH) who nominates two other houseguests for eviction. Then there is the veto competition where someone can win the chance to save a nominee and force the HOH to put up a replacement. Then on the last show of the week, the rest of the house vote to evict.

At the end of the season the latter evictees (The Jury) vote for one of the final two to win.

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For those of you who are unfamiliar with Nikki and Big Brother UK, well everyone gets to make two nominations each week; the housemates with the most nominations go to the public vote; and the public vote to evict (Or more recently, to save). The nominations are personal and Nikki got nominated a few times for being very very annoying.

Lets see, she moaned about not having bottled water; she moaned about the cold a lot* and she moaned in a task about her tape player not working. In fact she moaned about almost anything.

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I’ll admit that I don’t watch Big Brother UK because of too much focus on being controversial. As a result the most of a series I’ve seen is about a quarter of Series 7 (With Nikki) before getting bored. I think the show thought Nikki’s complaining was more entertaining than it thought it was. However what was more entertaining was when another housemate George was talking to someone in the bathroom about quitting and not wanting to be “gay about it”, and Nikki overhearing in the bedroom thought that George said he was gay.

But Nikki HAS to be one of the housemates voted into Big Brother Canada, because I want to see the other houseguests reactions. The other houseguests will be trying to be strategic, while Nikki said in interviews that she will want to be herself. They won’t know what to make of her. This will of course guarantee her an early exit, but it will be hilarious. Even if she did make the final 2, the jury won’t vote for her to win because they usually vote for strong game players, and Nikki has the mastermind prowess of a small child with wind.

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Despite Nikki being so angry, she has appeared on Big Brother 2006, Ultimate Big Brother and Big Brother Time Bomb. I don’t know why either.

The other international house guests hoping to be voted into Big Brother Canada are Tim Dormer, an Australian who convinced a man with an emotional attachment to his beard to shave it off; Jase Wirey, an American who claims to be mature yet throws a tantrum when things don’t go his way; and Veronica Graf and Italian who was the second to be voted out of her original season, and she was immune from the first nominations. No one is quite sure what the latter is doing in the vote, maybe they just had trouble getting people.

The show won’t be broadcast in the UK, but you can vote here: http://bigbrothercanada.globaltv.com/

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* Big Brother Canada had an endurance competition where the houseguests each stood on a block of ice. Hope they do a similar thing this year!

Why Are My Hands Dry During the Winter?

Each winter, my hands become dry. That means they look wrinkled, veiny and feel rough. Why does this happen? Lets find out.

My Hand is Dry

My hand is a bit dry

What happens is that the cold dry air blows away the moisture and natural oils on the hands which makes it dry. Then it becomes flaky which means it’s difficult for the body to make more moisture + natural oils.

Try moisturizing your hands under the sink? The soap absorbs natural oils so that doesn’t help.

Try heating up your home? Well the warm air can hold more water vapour than cold air, which is just dumb.

I think the best solution is to lock yourself in a cage for nine months.

There’s no comedy here. I just wanted to know.

Which Characters Can You Trust With The One Ring?

The One Ring.gif

This ain’t no babysitting service you’ve got here

The ring was an item in Lord of the Rings that turned you invisible. It also made wraiths want to eat you, and kinda turned characters into jerks. So in the Lord of the Rings they needed Frodo, a hobbit who could be trusted with chucking the ring into Mount Doom without going corrupt.

But which other fictional characters could be trusted with the ring?

Lets find out…

Sherlock Holmes

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Sherlock is known for being 100% correct about anything and everything. That said, he does have a knack for experimentation, and this may cause him to become overly curious. That being said he probably already knows how the ring works anyway.

Score: 6

Doctor Who

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Doctor Who loves being curious, but he wouldn’t put on the ring if he knew it would make him corrupt. However he often finds him surrounded by Daleks or other monsters, so becoming invisible may turn out to be a plus. He could potentially just take a Tardis to mount doom, provided he doesn’t get separated from it for plot convoluted reasons which, lets face it, will happen.

Score: 8

The Terminator

Terminator.gif

The Terminator is a robot who doesn’t give a damn about the ring’s invisibility-ness. All he knows is that if he shouldn’t put on the ring, he shouldn’t put on the ring. Even if he did, you know he won’t go all insane. Unless the wraiths start screwing with his programming. Also he could pass through a legion of orcs by walking with his hand in a fist and his arm stretched out..

Score: 10

Super Mario

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Mario is a plumber who hasn’t done any plumbing for 30 years. Instead he’s been saving the Mushroom Kingdom from Bowser. Maybe he can be trusted with the ring? Unfortunately his usefulness is only as good as the person controlling him, and players have the tendency to screw around. But he does have multiple lives, so perhaps he will make it provided the player ever finishes the game.

Score: 5

Tony Soprano

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Lol no.

Score: -2

Beatrix (Kill Bill)

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Warning: This article contains gore.

She will be able to slice Orcs like nobody’s business, and she has so much determination that she could probably reach Mount Doom even with the ring. That said, she kind of is already corrupt with power. Since Tarantino movies are out of order, she may be able to drop the ring into Mount Doom before the opening credits, and that would have saved us a lot of time.

Score: 5

Harry Potter

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In the first year Harry was obsessed with the mirror that reflected whatever he wanted. But in the later years the mirror would have reflected a map to Mount Doom because you know he ain’t gonna get himself distracted. His spells would be able to get him past the orcs, and he did so much hiking in part 1 of the last film that the distance shouldn’t be a problem.

Score: 8

Hermione Granger

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Like Harry Potter, but with better planning skills.

Score: 8.5

James Bond

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This guy will try to suave his way to Mount Doom. But he won’t be able to drive because the terrain isn’t suitable. Unless of course his team happen to create a vehicle that can do that sort of thing. Otherwise he will have to pull a Legolas and shoot his way through things.

Score: 6

James May

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Gets lost.

Score: -5

 

It’s official! Sorry Frodo, but The Terminator is the best fictional character to carry the ring. Maybe you can make the sandwiches next time.

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Which Fast Food Is Most Aerodynamic

Hey, you know fast food? Isn’t it supposed to be like, fast? Well sure it comes out very quickly, but which one would you trust to run a marathon in the quickest time? It’s time to find out which fast food is the most aerodynamic!

First, the burger

Burger

Well this item is just wrong. It’s delicious, but why does it have the audacity to be so round? You could throw it at MPH and it would just plonk down at your feet. The only plus side is that it’s light, but so do all the other fast foods. This is just bad style. I’ll say no.

Score: 3

Next, the pizza.

Pizza

I’ll go margherita to simplify things. Pizza is heavier than burger, so it might not fly as far. Plus it’s all floppy so it might do gymnastics in the air. I don’t trust this very much. However it will leave a trail of tomato so it would get lighter as it goes along.

Score: 2

Number 3, chips.

Chips

This picture looks upside down. I don’t know why.

Now remember, it’s chips and not a chip. Don’t think you can have just one and think you can get away with it. They travel in a pack. Unfortunately this means that they’ll have a tendency to scatter, although there may be just one that reaches the end, although I highly doubt it.

Score: 2

Fish

Fish

Ah yes, the chips’ cousin. In the ocean they’re all swimming along. Well fish can swim, but can they fly? Well it is a bit bulky so that’s going to be a problem, but a bigger problem is that fish can’t breathe above water, so it would probably die at the starting line.

Score: 3

Kebab

Kabab

Kebabs are long and pointy, with sections of food on them. This means that the wind and/or air can pass through it easily. You can even through it like a javelin if you are so inclined (I wasn’t). Good choice.

Score: 6

Hot Dog

hotdog

This contains a sausage in bread, with a condiment such as ketchup, mustard or onions. If you try throwing one of these then the sausage has a habit of jumping out of the bread. If you can construct the sausage to jump forward then this might be a good help, otherwise it might fall in the grass. Where it might get eaten by a dog; WHO DOESN’T SEE THE RESEMBLANCE!

Score: 4

Ice Cream

Ice Cream

The traditional ice cream with a cone can’t even stand up straight. So how is it supposed to run a marathon. Also if I lived in the 80’s I’d might make a joke about adding a marathon bar to the ice cream but I’m not so lets don’t. Chucking these causes the ice cream to fall out, and the whole thing to tip out. Very disappointing.

Score: 0

Donut

donut

This is one of those unfortunate unaerodynamic donuts.

Donuts have holes in them especially designed for the wind to go though it. Shame it’s so bulky and weighed down by that jam. You should have used low fat butter!

Score: 3

Salad

Salad

No! Not a fast food! Does not compute!

Score: -1

And finally, the milkshake

Milkshake

It’s round, bulky, and the lid can come off meaning the track will become all slippery. You can also attach a solar powered jet pack onto it.

Score: 10

Well there you have it. Milkshakes have the best aerodynamicness, and that’s a fact!

If you agree or disagree then leave a comment, and maybe click the like button if you want. Also you can share this on Facebook or Twitter. Send me messages @StewartAA2P.

Table Tennis Tips

Are you once of those people who keep losing at table tennis, even when you are actually playing squash?

Table Tennis

Actually if you steal your opponent’s bat then that might be a plus.

The rules of table tennis is that you have to hit the ball on your opponent’s side without them hitting it back. However if they hit the ball to you then you have to hit it back. This hypocrisy is never noted.

If you serve the ball and it bounces on your side and then on your opponents side twice, and the opponent doesn’t hit it back then you get a point. If you serve dinner and it bounces on your side and then on your opponent’s side twice and the opponent doesn’t hit it back, then you get an angry caterer.

Table Tennis is all about the existence of the table, the space between you and your opponent, and the paddling, which is why if you don’t like paddling, then this is not the game for you.

If your boat is too small, then the ping pong ball will fly into the ocean and it will become the Loch Ness Monster’s.

Everything in the ocean is the property of the Loch Ness Monster.

If you don’t have a proper table tennis table then you can use a normal table, provided you don’t mind that there is no net.

If you do have a proper table tennis table, then the net should not be used as a catapult for small laundry items, no matter how amusing it may seem.

If you are scared of drowning, don’t play this game.

It is recommended that you use a ping pong ball to play this game. You could use a cannonball, however the quality of the game play will decrease drastically.

Playing table tennis over a volcano is highly discouraged.

A common newbe mistake is to hurl a bucket of ping pong balls at your opponents side of the table to gain multiple points at a fast rate. However they probably won’t bounce enough times for it to count, and as a result you will probably lose there and then.

A good trick to hit the ball is by making the paddle have contact with the ball, and hitting it in a forward motion. Try not to throw the paddle. Or the table. Or your house.

And finally remember that it’s all about having fun, unless you lose in which case you must proceed to throw a huge tantrum. If you follow these tips then you will win every time. Just try not to be affected by the radiation.

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This Excellent Site Links Every Simpsons Quote To It’s Episode

The Simpsons is one of the most famous animated shows of all time, and there are so many episodes that it’s difficult to figure which episode you are looking for.

Simpsons Family

These are the Simpsons, in case you didn’t know. I did, but that’s because I’m special.

However with Frinkiac.com as long as you can remember a quote, it can tell you which episode you want. For example if you search “Three kids, but the dog doesn’t count” you get this…

(Season 3 Episode 10)

Boom! I win!

You can even have the quote on the image.

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Ok, that’s a bit wordy. But don’t worry, we can change the words with the text editor.

My chin has spikes on it

The Simpsons, improved!

Now this gave me an idea.

You see there exists a phrase that can make any ‘New Yorker’ cartoon funny, the New Yorker being a magazine that has a caption contest. It’s suspiring how often this phrase works, but it does. The caption I am talking about consists of the words…

“Hi, I’d like to add you to my professional network on linkedin”

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I’m wondering if it can make any mildly amusing photo funny, so I tried it with images from the Simpsons. Enjoy.

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Burns in bed

Bart Hoist

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Homer is dressed as bigfoot

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Baseball.jpg

Homer begging to Satan

 

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Ending Unlocked Already? Stranded Kids Corruptions Part 2

Today I’m going to corrupt Stranded Kids again.

This time I am using a save state just outside the hut on the second day in case the game crashes. This hopefully means different corruptions.

This time the corrupter will generate random bytes, this means I can’t paste the codes. But don’t let this stop you from experimenting yourself. Get the corrupter at http://www.maiddog.com/projects/corrupter/download.php, download some emulators and roms and it’s party time.

Previous corruptions can be found here: Stranded Kids Corruptions (AKA Survival Kids)

Corruption 1

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In this one, merely walking causes the screen to shake, and going right forces me down, and the hut screen gets repeated while other graphics have gotten a bit confused.

Silly game, grass don’t grow on buildings.

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