1. I have ordered Santa Claus to be shot for security purposes
2. To prove guns are safe I will shoot myself
3. Why is that tree moving?
4. My plan to improve solar energy resources is to attach rockets to Australia and to fly into the sun.
5. I have a good track record in economics as I consistently place 4th in Monopoly.
6. You want to decrease unemployment? Pay them to throw rocks at each other.
7. Scoot over, my butt is numb.