Tagged: The Hobbit

Rewatching Lord of the Rings: A Fellowship of the Ring

The first time I saw The Lord of The Rings was when I was probably under 10, I went downstairs for something and I saw my parents watching the extended edition DVD. I saw a few shots of the opening battle sequence, and I hadn’t watched anything like it before. It looked impressive and the sound was amazing.

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We watched The Fellowship of the Ring as a family a day or two later and I remember enjoying it. But obviously as I was younger I didn’t really understand all of it. A lot of the fantastical elements went over my head, which makes sense because half of the words were made up. I didn’t really watch the other two films properly until years later because I didn’t have the attention span, but my sister explained a some of the film to me. For example I saw Gollum and she told me that he used to be Smegal, which really fascinated me as a kid.

It’s fascinating rewatching FotR now after seeing The Hobbit. Of course they didn’t know that Martin Freeman was going to play Bilbo so it’s Ian Holm who finds the ring, even though Gandalf says that Bilbo hasn’t aged a day yet The Hobbit is obviously in cannon with this. Also Legolas has light blue eyes in The Hobbit but brown eyes in LotR. And then I found out that Legolas was always supposed to have brown eyes but they kept forgetting to put his contact lenses in. Rewatching the film is a bit weird, is what I’m saying.

Even bland statements such as “Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him” have become funny thanks to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE-1RPDqJAY (The video is almost 10 years old btw). Also I just to think Gandalf was awesome, but now not so much. Let’s see, he gets kidnapped in The Hobbit, kidnapped again in FotR and then he gets killed by the Balrog. Well not really. Instead he turns into Gandalf the White (I don’t remember how that happened, all I remember is that it was very silly. It was fine when all the fantasy characters all hit each other with sticks, but then it got silly.). Also he didn’t tell the Fellowship what was in the mines of Moria, so it’s like yes, of course they are going to think it’s better than a snowy mountain of pain. Now when Gandalf does something dumb I’m like “Freaking Dumbledore!”

But the film is still entertaining to watch, and now I’m older I can understand the whole Aragon king sub plot properly because I’ve seen all three films. I hope I get enjoyment from the rest of it. Actually I know I will, because Gollum is coming up. Potatoes Aye!

Which Characters Can You Trust With The One Ring?

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This ain’t no babysitting service you’ve got here

The ring was an item in Lord of the Rings that turned you invisible. It also made wraiths want to eat you, and kinda turned characters into jerks. So in the Lord of the Rings they needed Frodo, a hobbit who could be trusted with chucking the ring into Mount Doom without going corrupt.

But which other fictional characters could be trusted with the ring?

Lets find out…

Sherlock Holmes

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Sherlock is known for being 100% correct about anything and everything. That said, he does have a knack for experimentation, and this may cause him to become overly curious. That being said he probably already knows how the ring works anyway.

Score: 6

Doctor Who

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Doctor Who loves being curious, but he wouldn’t put on the ring if he knew it would make him corrupt. However he often finds him surrounded by Daleks or other monsters, so becoming invisible may turn out to be a plus. He could potentially just take a Tardis to mount doom, provided he doesn’t get separated from it for plot convoluted reasons which, lets face it, will happen.

Score: 8

The Terminator

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The Terminator is a robot who doesn’t give a damn about the ring’s invisibility-ness. All he knows is that if he shouldn’t put on the ring, he shouldn’t put on the ring. Even if he did, you know he won’t go all insane. Unless the wraiths start screwing with his programming. Also he could pass through a legion of orcs by walking with his hand in a fist and his arm stretched out..

Score: 10

Super Mario

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Mario is a plumber who hasn’t done any plumbing for 30 years. Instead he’s been saving the Mushroom Kingdom from Bowser. Maybe he can be trusted with the ring? Unfortunately his usefulness is only as good as the person controlling him, and players have the tendency to screw around. But he does have multiple lives, so perhaps he will make it provided the player ever finishes the game.

Score: 5

Tony Soprano

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Lol no.

Score: -2

Beatrix (Kill Bill)

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Warning: This article contains gore.

She will be able to slice Orcs like nobody’s business, and she has so much determination that she could probably reach Mount Doom even with the ring. That said, she kind of is already corrupt with power. Since Tarantino movies are out of order, she may be able to drop the ring into Mount Doom before the opening credits, and that would have saved us a lot of time.

Score: 5

Harry Potter

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In the first year Harry was obsessed with the mirror that reflected whatever he wanted. But in the later years the mirror would have reflected a map to Mount Doom because you know he ain’t gonna get himself distracted. His spells would be able to get him past the orcs, and he did so much hiking in part 1 of the last film that the distance shouldn’t be a problem.

Score: 8

Hermione Granger

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Like Harry Potter, but with better planning skills.

Score: 8.5

James Bond

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This guy will try to suave his way to Mount Doom. But he won’t be able to drive because the terrain isn’t suitable. Unless of course his team happen to create a vehicle that can do that sort of thing. Otherwise he will have to pull a Legolas and shoot his way through things.

Score: 6

James May

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Gets lost.

Score: -5

 

It’s official! Sorry Frodo, but The Terminator is the best fictional character to carry the ring. Maybe you can make the sandwiches next time.

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